Finding Thanksgiving In A Season That Feels Heavy

If the holidays make you feel more weighed down than lifted up, you’re not alone. I talk with so many women and couples who feel the pressure to be joyful while carrying anxiety, depression, loneliness, or grief. And truthfully, gratitude can feel almost impossible when your body is tired, your mind won’t slow down, or your heart is grieving something you can’t wrap words around.

So if you’re in that place, I want you to hear this clearly. There is nothing wrong with you. Your body is responding to what you’ve lived through. Your nervous system is trying to make sense of stress, loss, change, or unmet expectations. Your heart is trying to heal. And God sees you in all of it. He’s not asking you to pretend you’re okay just because Thanksgiving is on the calendar.

But I do believe there is a way to practice gratitude from a grounded, honest place. Not forced. Not fake. Not slapped on top of pain like a sticker. A steady, embodied Thanksgiving that meets you right where you are.

Here’s where I encourage people to begin.

Start with your body, not your brain.

When you’re anxious or depressed, your mind can be a hard place to start. Gratitude feels far away. So begin with what’s concrete. Put both feet on the floor. Take one slow inhale through the nose and a longer exhale out the mouth. Notice one place in your body that feels steady or warm or supported, even if it’s tiny. That’s gratitude. The nervous system responds to presence, not pressure.

Name what is true today.

You don’t have to reach for the “big” things. When life feels heavy, thanksgiving often shows up in small, quiet ways. The warmth of your coffee. Your child’s laugh. A soft blanket. Your dog resting against your leg. The sun through the window. These aren’t small things. They are touch points that remind your brain and body you’re held.

Let gratitude be a conversation with God, not a performance.

Sometimes I sit with God and simply say, “This is where I am today.” No neat bow. No spiritual pretending. And then I notice the ways He shows up in the smallest comforts. Gratitude becomes less about mustering positivity and more about letting Him meet me in the mess. Jesus never asked us to be thankful instead of honest. He invites us to be thankful within our honesty.

Honor the grief or loneliness that shows up.

Gratitude and grief can live in the same room. If this season holds an empty chair, a strained relationship, or a version of life you wish you had, name it gently. Your body needs permission to feel before it can soften into thanks. And sometimes the most powerful expression of Thanksgiving is simply recognizing the strength it’s taken to make it to today.

Create one grounding ritual for the week.

Keep it simple and sustainable. A five minute walk outside. Five slow breaths before you get out of your car. A quiet prayer at night: “Lord, show me one thing You gave me today that I didn’t notice.” Your body loves repetition. These small rhythms start to build a sense of steadiness again.

Let yourself receive love, not just give it.

If you’re someone who supports everyone around you, this might be the hardest one. Gratitude grows when you allow yourself to be cared for too. Let someone bring you a meal. Say yes when a friend offers help. Let your spouse hold you without fixing anything. Receiving is a spiritual practice. It reminds your nervous system and your spirit that you don’t have to carry the world alone.

Give yourself permission to not feel “festive.”

You can be grateful without being cheerful. Thanksgiving isn’t a mood. It’s a posture. A slow opening of the heart. A willingness to notice what’s still here, even if it’s small. God works in those small places.

If this season feels heavy, I want you to know this: you are not behind. You are not failing. And you are not walking it alone. There is room for your grief, your overwhelm, your anxiety, and your gratitude too.

Even in painful seasons, there can be moments of quiet Thanksgiving that anchor you back into your body, back into your relationships, and back into the steady love of God.